Preparation

Before one embarks on any task there has to be a certain amount of preparation. Before one runs a marathon, one prepares physically and mentally. Before one cooks a souffle, one must prepare the oven and ingredients. So must I too prepare. I am about to embark on the next exciting chapter of my life: Boston. As I close the chapter on the last ten years, I hope to let go of the bad and rejoice in the good times; the memories I will always treasure and the lessons learned. In just a few days we will all be in a new year and starting a new decade....how prepared are we? What will I prepare for? I, myself, will prepare to stick a bandaid on the cuts and bruises of the past and hopefully keep going on. I will prepare to put myself out there to experience all that life has to offer; to change incorrect views, to be more kind to the people I cherish, and to be more accepting of others' differences. To be happy in silence and make more positive and lasting relationships. To not be a door mat for those who would walk all over me and to make my peace with all that there is. To look in the mirror and accept the person looking back at me. So how do I prepare? One step at a time; with Gratitude and an Open Heart and Mind. I hope that we can all forgive, move forward, and reach our full potential for the next decade in our lives. I don't know about you, but I have a lot of preparation to do, so I better get busy! To the New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What I am Most Thankful For

I am thankful for many things but most important to me is the knowledge that I have a loving God and a loving brother, Jesus Christ, who sacraficed so much for me. I am so Very Thankful for parents who gave me life and a family who does support me through hard times and good times. Their love and the love of my good friends is what keeps me getting out of bed when I never want to get up. I am thankful for my friends who add so much to my life and the great conversations we have. I am thankful for the gift of an education that I can read books and learn more. I am thankful for the ability to see, hear, taste, feel, and do all of these things. I often take them for granted yet they are precious gifts that would change my life drastically if I did not have these. I am thankful for music and the blessing of song and the healing that takes place through music. I am thankful for so many things, but during this time in my life, I am mostly greatful and thankful for the things that have no price tag, that cannot be valued by man. These things are priceless and will always be my most treasured possessions.

I Have Your Back

"A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.”
Chinese Proverb

Everyone I know right now is going through some kind of trial. The more I think about what is happening to friends and family and random people around the world, the more I think of how important it is to tell people you love them. There never has been a more important time for people to be kind, to give service to each other, even if it's just a smile. You never know the effect you will have on another human being, but I am also a big believer that when you know people have your back, you can get through anything. So to those out there who want to know; those who are my friends and family, I HAVE YOUR BACK!!!! Of course part of this responsibility lies on the person going through the trial. It takes trust to let other people help carry your burdens. To those who have carried mine I say Thank You, to those who have listened, offered advice, prayed & fasted, and just cared, I Thank You. The thing about trials to me is that it fosters hope, and hope is all we need, because one day that hope will come to fruition, one way or another.

The Decision

In my life I have made many decisions. Some good and some bad. The decision to put my head between the railings on the staircase when I was 4...bad. The decision to become a nanny....good. Everyday is full of thousands decisions that are made without much thought to consequences and I am guilty most of the time of running headlong into decisions that haven't always been the best, even though my intentions were good. So in September of 2009 I made the decision of moving to Idaho to help care for my 79 year old Grandmother. Was this right? Was this wrong? I still don't know, but nonetheless, I made a decision. Weeks preceeding the move I thought of all the great memories of Idaho, my own personal Tara when growing up was difficult, mostly about the time I spent with my beloved Grandfather. However, in the stark reality of this life, my Grandfather is dead, and the memories are just that, memories. In the frustration of wondering why my Grandmother stays in her cleaverly crafted memories came the realization that I too am guilty of the same offense and it is time to wake up. It is time to put the past in the past and look to the future. I made this decision and I will stand up straight, square my shoulders and move forward.